That Feel When...

At the point where I just sit back and wonder how this project grew to include such things as giant robot minotaurs, mystical sciency bullshit, god-like AIs, using buses as battering rams and five-year-old mountain gurus and whether or not they are silly in a good way, or just plain silly. Ah well, as long as I amuse myself...mission accomplished.

I'm over 500 pages of writing now. I ended up finishing a few difficult points, which makes me happy. Not chapter 12 though. I decided that this chapter can rot in the backlog until I'm done everything else, even though I keep telling myself that it's really not all that hard to write. I keep jumping between chapters, so theoretically at least 5 of them will be done around the same time. Also, all chapters have WRITING in them...but are in various stages of completion (incomplete chapters ranging from 10%-98% done).

270832 words and counting.

Been Awhile

Haven't used this blog much lately. Been mostly focused on sharing video work rather than writing. I have actually been slowly working on bits and pieces of writing over the last 4 months. I'm so close to finished the entire thing. My problem is finding the motivation to do so. A lot of what I write fast and with ease are elements I've been thinking about constantly. The parts that aren't done, frankly, have not been thought out in my head. I'm thinking too far ahead at this point in time. I have an overall endgame in mind now, and I know a lot of parts I need to fix, but I have to get to that point first.

Another issue is I can only write when I feel up to it, which is another reason it's taken me so long. This is something that I do for myself. I'm writing something I'd be entertained to read, rather than writing this for someone else (which would get the job done a lot quicker). Having no one expecting this from me, or worried about marks or getting paid means that I work a lot slower on it and prioritize other things. I honestly don't know how some people write hundreds of words daily. I see some posts where people have like...20 unpublished books finished and I just don't understand how they manage it. Unwavering confidence perhaps?

I keep flip-flopping on my work. At times I've very please with myself, and the rest of the time I just stare at the page in utter disgust and wonder how I came up with such drivel. That or a little of both. All I know is that I'm pining for the finish line, where I at least get that rough draft done. I want that sense of accomplishment at finishing something that I've been working on for literally a third of my life. Maybe I just made it too long. I have this vision for what I want the end product to be, and I'm not stopping until I've reached that.

In other news, I think I just gave some very bad 10-pin bowling advice. I just started bowling in a spring league and literally my knowledge of technique in this comes down to "throw the ball as hard as you can down the middle." Average is sitting around 140 right now and I have no idea if that's good or not. I'm a lot more experienced with 5-pin where my average is sitting around 180-190. Not sure what else to tell her other than to keep her arm straight and correct for the ball drifting to the right.

Colossal Failure and a Playlist

Okay not really, but I'm still not done. Not unexpected, but still. Progress report is optimistic. There are about three areas holding me back. Plan is to finish the little bits in the areas that don't make me want to slam my face into the keyboard and then suffer through the rest later.

I enjoy this.

Really.

Here's a playlist.

Consider it a remastered version of my playlist on my old YouTube account.

Random fact: I learned that "unnecessary bashing of my face into a keyboard" is a tag I have used...more than once...not just on these blogs...

Other good ones:

ANCIENT EGYPTIAN LASER BEAMS
eeeeeeeeeeeee
FRANCE
ankles
aaaaaaaaaaa
all the damn chapters
burning thesaurus
CHUCK NORRIS
faffing in brown hats
poop
pew pew pew
shoot me in the face please
squared bees
we're getting there people
god damned chapter 12

Still Working

Running out of time, but I'm still convinced I can finish this before the new year (unedited that is). There are still a few problem spots for me as I'm not sure how I want to handle it/integrate it with what's already written. I already have initial readers picked out, but they won't see it until...I'd say February as the first 3 (ish) chapters are horse drivel and need to be re-written. They will not see the light of day. They will not change much, but I have some vital information to add in including characters and plot points. Also, it also needs to sound better than my third grade summer project. I wrote stories about wolves. They were better than some of the crap I have at the beginning of this monster.

Next time I post will likely be when I'm done unless something crazy happens in the meantime.

Waiting for Work

Browsing through a couple chapters and I come across this little bit on a placeholder page for a chapter.

I hardly remember this.

This document is riddled with frustrated spaz fests.


Happy Wednesday.

I Made a Spreadsheet

I calculated approximately how close I am to REALLY being done the rough draft. It's sitting around 71%. That said...that is the average of the arbitrary percentages I have assigned to each chapter in terms of completion, but it seems accurate. I have a lot of patch work done. There are 6 chapters out of 45 that I have not started (unless you count 1 or 2 lines plus notes), three stupid long chapters that I need to revisit, three completely terrible chapters I need to rewrite, Jason's chapter which is about 90% done and makes me want to stab myself with a fork, and the realization that 45 chapters will most likely become 46 because...some things are not explained. As much as I would like Jason to just show up somewhere for no reason, I can't really do that. Laziness is not on my side here. 

Damn it Jason you ruin everything. 

So 71%.

The document itself is a poor representation of the final page numbers and word count, but it's currently sitting at 423 pages and 228,000 words. How am I not done this yet?

BEFORE 2015. It needs to happen.

I am super antsy about sharing any of this. I enjoy writing it, and I make myself laugh, but the reason it's taken so long is just it doesn't quite meet my level of expectations. And if it doesn't even meet mine, how can I expect it to be good enough for other people to lay eyes on. I've debated sharing snippets of it for a long time. Maybe... 

shdfaiasdnasoidnanosdas 

That almost looks like a word

All right

k 

fine

HERE.

He stepped lightly on the catwalk, especially in one section where the supports holding it to the wall and roof seemed a little loose. He could see a figure lying prone on a section of the catwalk near the middle. He noticed a ladder down to the second floor on the far side. Ash had not moved and barely acknowledged Dedrad when he arrived. Dedrad sat next to him, back resting against the rail behind him as Ash grabbed a couple bands from the little pile next to him.

“Why are you tormenting the research team?” Dedrad asked after a moment.

“Bored.”

“Training and facility duties not enough to keep you occupied?”

“Woke up late. No one told me to do anything, so I'm conducting an experiment.”

“An experiment?”

“Yes, I am determining the average number of elastic band shots required to piss off members of the research team. Joey is the control.”

Ash fired an elastic and it found its mark in the back of Joey's neck. Joey placed a hand on his neck where it hit and looked around behind him for the culprit. Ash chuckled and loaded another.

“I see you're a real man of science.”

“Poten wants me to apply what I'm learning. Just consider this applied physics.”

Ash adjusted his aim and angle, and fired an elastic into the back of a woman working at a computer. It hit her coat and dropped to the floor unnoticed. Ash made a disappointed noise.

“As much as I don't want to encourage you, experiments need to be repeated for accurate results.”

“Tried it with a gang once.”

“Really?”

“It was hilarious until someone got stabbed.”

“That person wouldn't have been you would it?”

Ash chuckled.

“I honestly can't tell if you are being serious or not.”

Ash fired another couple of bands. The two of them had to duck when the second projectile hit a man in the face and he gazed wildly about to determine where it had come from.

Melodrama

Staring blankly, knowing the words exist, that they yearn to be uttered. Important people in important places,
talking and scheming and countering perceived evil. They live, breath, act their parts, playing games
with fear and power, one man growing ever paranoid and powerless himself. This room, a nexus of paths.
Staring blankly, glued to the chair, free in theory, bound in practice. You cannot leave. You cannot
escape. This must be done. It is time.

And the only sound in the room, a constant release of a single consonant.

ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

And the curse repeats itself again and again.

That is the writing process. Forcing yourself to put words on the page, while fighting the urge to print the damn thing off so you can crumple it up and devour it, or throw it in the air, preferably down the stairs and estimate how many will end up in unreachable places. Then you stop yourself from continuing the story with your forehead against the keyboard. And the entire time, that constant ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff followed by every curse you can think of.

And then you go get tea and play video games instead.




Chapter 12 still isn't done.