Showing posts with label Dedrad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dedrad. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Crap

Forgot Dedrad's last name. I wrote it down somewhere and I swear it was an awesome name. I think it got purged when I lost Gary. I really need to see if I can access that hard drive...

I was going to say I was nearing 300 pages...but like, 50 of them are notes, trash, placeholders or items that need to be rewritten. So scratch that.

Monday, March 10, 2014

Finally!

I haven't been this pleased about writing in quite some time. I finally figured out how to handle Dedrad's Interlude, and it makes me super excited about the project again. I wrote an original version a couple years ago, and it really sucks. I'm going to keep it on file because it has some useful elements in it, but ultimately it's being scrapped in favour of this new look into his character. And again, I've added a couple new characters that theoretically I won't mention again until book 2. We'll have to see. I have a potential place for them in an upcoming chapter, but I don't know if it will work or not. I'm just happy to actually be going somewhere with it as it's been a major block since I wrote the damn section.

Now, chapter 12 just needs to magically come to me and all will be well. My writing is so segmented right now, even more than usual. Working on 3 or 4 chapters at once in bits will either be good for me (as that's normally how my thought process works) or extremely bad as events and ideas will get jumbled up along the way. We will see. Thankfully, this is what editing, and re-editing, then more editing is for. Then I send it to other people who also edit it, and then I edit again. And so on. I'm just happy about this one victory.

Monday, February 4, 2013

New Rewrite?

I am heavily debating beginning the next version of WMRR, just because the beginning is so weak. The quality of writing definitely improves over time and the poor start just gets on my nerves. I will be able to integrate it better with the latter half of the story. I personally believe that it starts to get better around Chapter 5. Chapter 4 isn't bad, it's just shorter than I would like and it's the last time a Chapter is written from Grypt's POV until CHAPTER 15. It makes sense as he is more of a support character and his character is to inherently exist in the background, but still, the reader needs to know what's going on with him as he plays an important role in the end. The first 3 chapters and Dedrad's Interlude are just...brutal. I could barely read it without getting uncomfortable with how terrible it is. Regardless, I still really like chapters 5-7, even though they need heavy editing.

The downside of the rewrite though is I will be stuck at chapter 15, and I really want to try and get this finished. I have been working on this for too long to be stuck on loop for the next few months. As school isn't exactly keeping me busy, I can focus on WMRR. Speaking of school, I am glad that I am almost finished. My classes are just silly this semester. I have no idea what we are doing or learning in my Art and the Media class. The prof has mysteriously gone missing and his students have taken over. I'm not sure they are 100% sure what they are supposed to be teaching, but at least they're giving it a shot. My communications class is good for meeting interesting classmates...and bad for pretty much everything else. I haven't learned too much, but the teacher's pretentiousness is enough to keep the lulz a-coming. History is interesting, but it's nothing I haven't seen before. I'm just glad I'm actually learning something in that class.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Second Interlude

Man, this really was the chapter than never ends. I started with a simple idea, and it kept going and going and going. I had my own personal energizer bunny by the end. This chapter taught me one main lesson: stories have a mind of their own. I'm sure I knew that before, but after this...I realized that I need to do a lot more work on poor Dedrad. He's my least developed character. He needs a little TLC, because he's an important foil for Ash. That and I need to rewrite chapter 1. This has been a long-term project, so naturally my style of writing has changed. Chapter 1 is a little too slap-stick for my liking. First half stays, second half needs help. I think this is the place where I'll explain the mechanics of my story's world. It's the perfect place for it.

I put a lot of work and research into Dan's chapter. First part, inspirational/fitting songs for the piece. Second part is reference material. My God those knives are beautiful. If I had $2000 dollars of expendable cash, I'd be all over that. Though, I'm pretty sure Canadian customs would have a few choice words about bringing tactical knives over the border.


Dead Inside
- X-ray Dog
Enigmatic Soul - Two Steps From Hell
Morrocan Roll - X-ray Dog (and no I don't know why it isn't spelled "Moroccan" aside from the play on words...more rock 'n roll...har)
Lake of Fire - Nirvana

Jay Fisher World Class Knife Maker

I am now OFFICIALLY done one third of my novel. I expect the final product in rough to be around 300 pages by the end at this rate. Take that number and subtract 10-15%. Therefore, we should be sitting around 255-270 pages and 131500 words...which will probably be too much. Lots of editing to be done ladies and gents, though I took a few extra liberties with chapters than I should have. Maybe I'm over-explaining. Meh, it's only version 3 of WMRR (technically 2.5, but we'll say three for the sake of keeping the concept simple).

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Full Circle

It's a momentous hour (at least for myself and the Freets of course), for I have just written the section concerning the completion of the first CMD (aka Clear Mind Devices). Why is this a momentous hour? Not only is it the device intended to give the Freets the upperhand in their rebellious war, but this is the very event I began with five years ago when I first started writing WMRR back in my high school days. Man have I come a long way. I pulled up the first chapter I ever wrote in the development of WMRR, and it's aweful. My writing and story-telling has improved and I finally have a way to show it. So, as a special treat for my non-existant viewers (apologies to any that actually DO keep up with this blog), I have decided to post segments from both versions. Enjoy!

-+-

Current Version (largely unedited since I JUST finished it):

Ash slipped into the circle and watched as the small, metallic rectangle made its way slowly towards him. Jennifer was the last to look it over when she handed it to Ash. She placed it in his open hand, face was almost reverent. He was shocked at how light it was. He turned the thumb-sized box in his hands, examining the display on the front and the chip with two tiny prongs at the back. He passed it back to Jennifer. She turned it over and activated it. The device made no noise as it glowed with life.

“There you have it ladies and gents,” she said, holding it out for everyone to see. “Light-weight, flexible and virtually undetectable. Three years of research and development and we finally have the final element to win this war. This will give us the protection we need against Popular power. Once we beta test the prototype, we'll have everything we need to make our move this fall.”

“Speaking of beta testing,” Ash started as he spotted Dedrad out of the corner of his eye, “I have clearance to take the CMD on the next mission to see how it performs.”

“Really,” said Jennifer, who didn't look all that surprised.

“For once I'm not messing with you,” he said, holding out the memo for her to read.

She gave the device to Joey, who nodded and eyed Ash with the same disgusted look. She scanned the memo and nodded, passing it back to Ash.

“Well I suppose you'll need to know how to use it then. Honey, could you get the headband for me?” she asked, turning to Joey.

The rest of the research team dispersed to celebrate in another room with whatever wine stores they could dig up. Dedrad joined Ash and Jennifer, picking up the device and examining it himself. He smiled as he ran a finger over the top of it.

“Did you talk to Poten?” asked Ash under his breath to Dedrad.

“No, but he wants to see us in an hour. We're supposed to bring the device. He wants to see it.”

“But you talked to Grypt?”

“Yes. He was with Dan, knee-deep in machine parts downstairs.”

“Have you seen Myra?”

“No, I have no idea where she is.”

Ash just nodded as Joey returned with the headband. Jennifer attached the CMD to the side of the plaint, black band. She handed it to Ash, who tested the band's elasticity in his hands.

“Basically all you need to do is place the band around your head with the device sitting in the centre at the back of your head. Once you have it in position, press the button on your right-hand side. It's marked red on there so you know which one.”

“Kind of hard to see the red when it's at the back of my head,” retorted Ash.

“Look before you put it on Ash,” she said, strain in her voice. “Once it's on, you'll be able to feel where to press. We've marked it quite well.”

Jennifer sighed and reached over to sign a paper on Joey's clipboard. Ash pulled the band onto his head and adjusted the device until it was comfortably sitting where Jennifer indicated. Ash shook his head once or twice to ensure the band was secure. He didn't like the constriction. He felt like his head was in a vice.

“Pushing the button activates a connection apparatus with will connect the device to your nervous system. From there, you'll be able to tap into the machine's power,” Jennifer continued.

Ash reached behind his head and felt for the button on its side. He pressed it and felt a minor tingling sensation as the tiny prongs attached themselves to his skull. Ash moved his head around, but felt no tugging or pulling on the area. After allowing the device a moment to warm up, he felt a familiar feed of power surge through his body. It wasn't nearly as powerful as the coffee machine was, but he certainly felt a significant increase in mental and physical strength.

“Could we adapt this so I didn't have to wear a headband? I hate headbands.”

“Well that's too bad,” said Joey before Jennifer could answer. “It was made specially for use on the head. It's the most direct path for this type of energy application.”

“Really? Because I'm fairly positive that humans have nerves all over their body. Though I could be wrong.”

“They aren't adapted to work that way. There's no way to tap into the power. Maybe, within a few more months of research we can, but we don't have that much time on our hands. If you don't like it, don't use it. Just don't come crying to me when Laelaps turn your Mind into pudding.”

“Yeah, then it would leak out of the holes these things are going to be constantly punching in my head. I'm sure there's another way.”

“There's---”

“I know, I know. Lord love a duck, don't give yourself a hernia,” Ash snapped, deactivating the device before taking it off.

He ignored Joey's sputtering and held the CMD out for Jennifer, but she shook her head.

“You're beta testing; you hold onto it. Just don't lose it or break it, or I will kill you.”

-+-

First version (edited many times believe it or not):

Four hours later the project was complete. Ash was incredibly tired after yelling non-stop, chucking clipboards at various people, and bringing about half the technicians in the room to tears. Supervising was hard work.
Jennifer presented the device they had worked so hard on, to Ash. He took it in his hands and studied it. It was small and compact, only being the size of his thumb. It did not look complicated or important, but it was the device that would give them a huge advantage in the war.

“I have to admit, I was worried when the first dozen tests or so went horribly wrong, but now…” Ash trailed off passing the device through his fingers.

“We’ve done some good work sir,” Jennifer pointed out.

“Indeed we have,” Ash agreed. “I would personally like to try our first working prototype. That way I can decide if there needs to be any adjustments from there.”

“I suppose that’ll be alright…”

“Of course it will.”

Ash slipped the device onto his head. The headband supporting it fit snug and secure over his thick, brown hair.

“Wonderful…it’s light-weight, flexible, and if we turn it on,” Ash said activating the device, “it makes no noise and is virtually undetectable. Of course we’ll have to remodel it so that we don’t need the headband. I hate headbands.”

“Whatever you say sir, but for now it’ll have to stay that way. Once we move past the prototype stage, we’ll be able to make modifications.”

“Very well, but I still want to get rid of the headband.”

The technicians began to shut down their workstations and head for bed. It was two in the morning. Ash yawned and was about to head for bed himself when Dedrad walked in.

-+-

Overall, Ash's character hasn't changed all that much. The events have largely since this is almost halfway through the novel rather than at the beginning. Jennifer and Joey are WAY more interesting, I use more sophisticated descriptions (though I still fail quite a bit in that department) and I've worked a lot harder on the little details. The writing still has a long way to go, but what makes me happy is I'm getting better. At least I think I am...God I hope so. I guess you can decide for yourselves.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Gah Dialogue

I just finished Dedrad's Prologue literally a minute ago. I like how it started and finished, though I might need to tweak the middle a bit. I got discouraged half-way in between, so I think the writing is a little off. That's besides the point though...I'm over 25% done now and I am pleased. I still need to go back and finish Chapter 5, but I think I will be prepared to write that after the weekend (I'm going on another ski trip; pray I don't break my neck). I finally have a clear picture of the Eastern base in my head (I may have to change the name considering the size of the territory I'm using). I broke North America. *GIANT EVIL SMILE FACE*

Ignore that last bit. What I'm afraid of now in my writing is an excessive use of dialogue in the chapters. I think I might need more narrative, but I'm still developing my description and vocabulary skills. I'm a fairly casual writer, and though my writing and word usage has improved in the last few months, I doubt it's where I want it to be. My plan is just to get all I want to say out and worry about how horrible it is later. As I learned in class this week, dialogue can be extremely useful, but it can only go so far. Action is needed, because what a character DOES is more powerful than what they SAY...unless you're looking to spark some pretentious Facebook statuses.

Current rough draft completion: 26% (ish)
Overall completion: 19.5%
Word Count: 23,015

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZSS5dEeMX64

BE A MAN.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Serious Business Time

I honestly considered writing this post Arby and the Chief style. Only one person I know would probably appreciate that. So I'm done my traveling and my skiing (not without aches and pains, but it was hella worth it) and now I think it's time I get down to some serious business. I was supposed to be done up to chapter 15 by the end of this month. I was giggling to myself about that last night after I stopped freaking out about other issues. School is getting busier, and I have less time to write let alone maintain my sanity. I started to write some of WMRR last Wednesday, which actually went quite well. I got about 3 pages done, which is good considering how distracted I was. I now have a chapbook story(well it was technically due today...), a bunch of critiques and my third short story due within the next week. That and I want to finish chapter 5 and Dedrad's Prologue this week. I want to finish more of course, but I have other issues to contend with.

So I'm off to be anti-social and wonder how badly I failed my Science Fiction class quiz (I really did fail...I put Chuck Norris as one of the answers). It's what I get for not reading either one of the books, Wikipediaing it 10 mins before class. Oddly enough I don't really care. I'll do better on the next one.

By March 5 - Chapbook submission
March 6 - 25% completion for WMRR
March 9 - Short Story 3
March 31 - Chapter 18 (at least) of WMMR

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Frantic-tic-tic-tic

Almost a week has passed since I posted here. My writing has slowed to nearly a stop. The only progress I can claim to have made is a slight clean up of the endings of a few chapters. Other than that I have written the beginning of Dedrad's introduction in between chapter 5 and 6 in my coil notebook on the train. The trick is to avoid the random stares from the other passengers and to cover the writing with an arm as I write so no creepers read over my shoulder. Less awkward questions that way. I'm leaving today. And by today I mean after I sleep, hand in a paper early, pick up the other people traveling with me, be at the airport by 6pm and catch a plane at 9pm (thank you America for your ridiculous security measures which require me to arrive three hours early to take off my shoes and walk through the machines that look under your clothes). I will try and write as much as I can on my trip while trying to spend as much time with my family and boyfriend as possible, while reading and editing a friend's novel, 3 short stories and sources for an annotated bibliography. Yay holidays? I'll stop complaining now and get back to writing the last 500 words of my paper. YEAH ERASMUS AND THE HUMANISTS!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Chapter 6!

No I haven't made that much progress. I skipped chapter 5 and Dedrad's prologue to write chapter 6. Why? Well I had no idea how to write chapter 5 and I didn't feel like writing about Dedrad yet, so I skipped them. I need to rewrite the beginning of chapter 6 and think of a more evocative ending. The chapter turned out to be mostly dialogue, which works in this case. It will be an offset to chapter 5, which is going to be mostly narrative. I need to finalize my points of view for that chapter still. I also need to fix the horrible ending to chapter 4 in the near future (chapter 4 is PAIN). Anyhow, I'm happy with how some of the characters are turning out, especially Virgil and Colonel Card. I think the Colonel is my second favourite character, right after Ash. It's going to be fun writing about him that's for sure.

I will be backtracking to the parts I skipped when I have some more time. As of now i have two document analysis, one annotated bibliography requiring 15 sources, a seminar on Thursday (ARGH SHOOT ME IN THE FACE PLEASE), four critiques (due tomorrow heh), a group meeting and a headache of a science fiction novel to read (Sybil by Benjamin Disraeli), all of which I must do this week. Thankfully, I have an Epica concert on Thursday to ease my pain (yay!).

Current rough draft completion percentage: 23%

Overall completion percentage: 17%

Seriously, shoot me in the face right now.


ALSO: For some reason I had this episode of Nostalgia Critic stuck in my head while I was writing chapter 6. Particularly at the end around 12:50.