Crossroads

This time last summer I began what would be the toughest year of my life. Looking back one year, I feel like it has been a lot longer. I've been very lucky to have a loving family that I have been close to, and quite frankly sheltered by, for many years. I'm at a crossroads in my life, like many other people my age, where I'm just trying to figure myself out and come to terms with all that's happened. I feel like I need to move on from a lot of this before I can seriously start writing again. It may even encourage me to write more or write better. Point is, I have no idea what to do with my life. I understand myself better in many respects, but mostly I just confuse myself. I know what I like, what I want, and yet I've completely lost sight of the few goals that I had. I need to reassert those goals, or WMRR is never going to be completed.

I don't take criticism very well. I take everything way too personally, which may be a product from my time on YouTube. I use it because it's one constant source that I can share my interests and communicate with people in ways I can't otherwise. I love to make videos, but the stress to constantly produce and deal with the people who insult and demean rather than give constructive pointers really gets to me. Makes me angry mostly, because these people have nothing of importance to say. It's a useless waste of letters, data and time. Lately I'm just crushed by the constant drivel I have to deal with and am seriously contemplating taking a break from video production. True, I get more positive feedback than negative, but I have other aspects like writing, friendships, job hunting, work and personal growth that I could be pouring this time and energy into instead of videos. I will finishing Dungeon Siege 2, because I hate unfinished business, but I can't say if I'll be immediately moving on to Broken World. 

I want to be in a place where WMRR jumps to the top 5 priorities in my life. Since my last post I've only written about 300 words. I just can't find a pocket of time I can have to myself before 11pm at night, and by that time I'm too tired to do any work. This makes me extremely frustrated, because the same is true for recording. I need seclusion, time and silence for both activities, which I just don't have anymore. And this means absolutely NO interruptions. I want to finish WMRR. I want to finish it so bad so I can go back, edit and fix everything. There are so many glaring mistakes that just eats away at me, but I can't let myself go back and fix yet because I'll end up rewriting the entire work again. 

My goal then is to have WMRR done in rough draft by the end of this year. I have made goals like this before, but I need to seriously work at it like I did a few years ago when I wanted to enter that contest. I want this story finished, even if it never sees publication, I want to know that I can complete a work as large as WMRR. So as a fair warning, I may be making a lot of changes to my goals and priorities in the next while. You have been warned.

I'm resisting the urge to put a smiley face on the end of that last sentence.

Not again...

Every year. EVERY year for some asinine reason I either forget or can't participate in free comic book day again. I forgot to go again today. I slept in because I was so tired, started playing some video games and then I looked over at my comic book and it hit me. Picture me screaming clichéd Hollywood "NOOOOOOOO" as I fall to my knees and crumple into a ball on the ground and roll around like a wounded animal. Yes, wounded animals roll around. On the ground. Screaming NOOOOOOO.

So...my plans were thwarted again, but at least I get to go on vacation tomorrow for a week so I'm not too upset. Probably won't get much writing done, so I'm trying to pump out at least a little bit today. I have a new plan to apply for manuscript writing. Despite my forgetfulness, I don't give up easy. I'm thinking work stories this time around. They seemed to be my most successful ones from my other writing classes. I need an outline and some writing done on it. I'm also thinking of using completely new material. I won't recycle like I did last year.

WMRR has been going through some changes. I know EXACTLY how I want chapter 12, so I just need to do the rewrites and filling in for that. We'll see how silly it sounds when it's finished. Chapter 13 is done, but needs a better ending. The one I have at the moment is pretty awful. Chapter 14 is off to a good start, but I have one hurdle to flail over before the words flow the way I want.

It's going to be intense guys. So, very, intense. I am super excited.

My geek week would have been over today with free comic book day so...yeah. Comic con, Avengers midnight premiere, cosplaying and posting tons of LP videos have shown me that I've fully embraced my nerd identity. I'm so proud of myself.

Avengers was the most amazing movie of my life by the way. Well...maybe second most amazing. Lord of the Rings is hard to beat.

Short Term Memory?

I could have sworn that I posted here in the new year already, but maybe that was something else.

So, it's been quite a busy week for crazy events happening. I can't talk about half of them here, but for what I can say...things have been shaken up a bit. YES...THINGS.

I am not graduating this year. I talked to a degree advisor, and apparently I am five courses short of graduating...so I have some decisions to make. I need to determine when I take my courses and in what subjects. I also need to decide if I want to tack on a minor (which would be seven courses not five). I just need to remember that an extra two courses is an extra 1000 dollars...so yippee. One good aspect to this is that I have another chance to try for manuscript writing. It feels like unfinished business to me. I think I have a better idea for the project as well, so I'll make sure to update on that while I go.

In the meantime, I'm in the middle of trying to catch up with a lot of the activities I've been engaging in. On of them is my video editing (which is going a lot faster now that I have a computer capable of better quality encoding). I'm working on my Legends of Aranna LP, and trying to finish Dungeon Keeper 1. In the meantime, I may post some useless video to let people know I'm not giving up on the account.

As for WMRR, it hasn't gone anytwhere in awhile. I'll admit I've been distracted by games and books. Speaking of books, Republic of Thieves is finally out. I just remembered when I was writing this...only there are no books in stores, and it'll take up to a month to ship. I'm just happy that I'll get it. I've been waiting a LONG time.

Aftermath

I've been lazy with a lot of aspects of my life right now. I haven't been keeping up with regular writing due to this, but I'm finally getting back into it. I didn't check when my last post was, but I know it was over a month ago. So let's see...

I was sick constantly for a month. After three different strains of the flu I considered myself a walking biohazard. I had to go to court as a witness, which really took a lot out of me. My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago...been trying to think of an appropriate project that will honour her memory.

Now I'm dealing with the Christmas rush. I'm really looking forward to the holiday this year. I especially look forward to sitting under the Christmas tree with a cup of hot chocolate or chai while listening to music. I have to work for the season, but I'm happy to for once since I really enjoy the people I work with and the jobs I have (for the most part). I think I may have complained about one aspect of it earlier, but I should be careful what I say. I'll just note that I'm not pleased with any of the recent policies that have been implemented. We have lost a lot of people because of it, customer and employee.

Finishing up my classes. I have the last one tomorrow. I will be sad to leave it because I've made my first real friends from history in there. It's been fun. We're all supposed to bring in finger foods that represent us. I still don't have a food item! As for my other friends and projects...I've really been neglecting them.

I've retreated into this shell that I'm breaking out of again. The result of this has been some...interesting writing on my part. I wrote 10000 words in the span of 3 days, which is impressive since that's 1/7 of the material I have for my current version of WMRR...and that has taken me a couple of years. It's darker material for sure, but I think it's good for me to try new styles, approaches and content. I like the concept behind it, but I don't know if I'll be able to flesh the whole work out. I've also been writing poetry (le gasp), but I'm not ready to share it. I currently have it on a DeviantArt account of mine, but the name, for now, shall remain a secret. It's not that good anyway.

And it involves a disgusting amount of angst.

As for video editing, I have a new computer, but I messed up the installation of my Windows OS. I wanted to be able to boot into either a Mac OS or a Windows OS, but I can only boot into the Windows at this time. Therefore I cannot install video editing and recording software until I have this sorted out. As such, I will be continuing with the Dungeon Siege LP and my Dungeon Keeper walkthrough. I plan on finishing both before the new year. That way, I can start fresh.

As for further writing...I have sent WMRR to a reader of mine...a trusted friend. She's going to give me a little feedback on the areas I need to improve on. I know it's breaking the rules, but I want a few opinions on the plot points. I'm going to be rewriting and taking stuff out eventually anyway. I will try and get chapter 13 and 14 done in December as well. Then again, I'll probably just end up writing more of the new project since it's in my mind at the moment.

For now, I focus on the last bits of school, my final and a short paper, and coming up with a delectable finger food.

Also...Skyrim. Let's just say...I may or may not have about 70 hours of gameplay thus far. Haven't even touched Assassin's Creed Revelations yet!

I have a problem.

Starting to Hate October

It wasn't too fun last year either.

Yeah so...lots of stuff going on. Family members aren't doing so well, school is crazy busy and I'm trying to fight the second bout of flu I've had this month. That said, not much writing work done on WMRR, but tons of planning. I finally worked out, 99% done, the details of the main plot that drives the story. I was stuck for a long time on this part, but I figured that if I threw enough against the wall, something was going to stick sooner or later. I have a difficult section to write because I don't even have a POV for the chapter itself (chapter 13) I know where I want to be by Chapter 15, but it's this part that's critical. I feel like I'm crawling to the top of the hill where I'll finally be able to roll down the other side and get some serious work done. It's slow, but at least I'm putting effort into it.

So...what's going on for the next month?
-Recording Age of Empires III campaign for RESEARCH (no joke)
-Recording chapter 3 and 4 of Dungeon Siege 1
-Finishing my Dungeon Keeper LP/Playthrough...because it's taken me too long
-Writing 3 large papers (apparently I need to learn how to write them better because I'm disorganized and can't communicate my ideas effectively...this may be a result of last minute all-nighters)
-coming up with topics for said papers
-Getting all three papers done before November 11
-Skyrim weekend marathon which will destroy all hopes of finishing papers
-Prepare for holidays

AND

FINALLY

-Work on WMRR!


We'll see how it goes.

In other news...I have a new mic:
http://www.bluemic.com/snowflake/

Sounds really crisp, I don't have to yell for the mic to pick up my voice properly and it's SHINY. Downside is it picks up EVERYTHING, so everyone can hear my laptop fan and hard drive.

Look What I Did!

I spent the last two days being terribly sick (and it was a pretty bad flu...I don't think I've ever been that confused and disoriented in a long time) and managed to get WAY behind in school work, and a little further ahead in writing. I wrote more of Chapter 12 and I think I have the Popular characters pretty much established the way I want to. I need to do a little editing on the back end to make sure that two of the characters are mentioned more...and I think make Jason look a little less like a raging psychopath.

That said I introduced a lot in Chapter 12 and brought a whole other plot thread to the table. I have the middle part to fill in and I need to fix a few points to make them flow better, but Chapter 12 is about 500 words short of being done (which is nothing). That said, I need to start thinking about what I want to do for the next five chapters or so. This is a huge turning point and A LOT of stuff is ganna go down. This next little bit is going to be fun, but it's venturing into waters that I haven't fully explored yet. From about Chapter 15 and on, it's going to be all NEW material. Nothing I've ever written for WMRR before.

In other news...

YouTube got mad at me over the summer for some music I posted...way back. Truth be told, I forgot that I had posted it, and now I have a black mark on my account. It may go away in six months, but it might not, so I can't post videos longer than 15 minutes now. I also can't make the videos "unlisted" or change the licensing on them...which is kind of weird. At any rate, I'll be posting some of my longer videos on another account now. I'm going to start being VERY careful about what I post on YouTube now, because they're pretty anal about what's kosher and what's not. I'm just upset that I didn't take it down before this all happened.

EversorFatalis' Channel

Let's Play Dungeon Siege videos are up at the above link if anyone is interested.

Chapter 10

The chapter is done. Finished it up with some dialogue. I don't like the ending line, but it'll do for now. I need to double check that my logic...makes sense. Logic and I do not get along.

Current word count: 64,479

Would have posted this two days ago, but blogger felt it was a good time for maintenance. Working on chapter 11 now. Would have had more done last night, but I was focused on editing and making sure my video didn't explode. Took six hours to upload. That is ridiculous. I have been told that I need to make videos in a different way. Hopefully, this will reduce the size and upload time.

I need to learn how to write without so much dialogue.

Critiquing

I have added a new section to the EGAWT involving critiquing. I'm not sure how good it is because the people I sent it to didn't give me any feedback. At all. So meh. I plan to go through the entire guide some day and make sure it doesn't sound horrible. At any rate...

Critiquing

Still waiting on someone to send me the poetry section. I doubt that will ever happen. Also still waiting for feedback concerning two short stories. I doubt that will ever happen either. At least I got them critiqued in class, which is the most useful feedback I could ever ask for. I strive, as an aspiring editor, to always give my 100% when editing and critiquing writing.

I extend the offer I made on my site (that no one visits but whatever) to anyone who reads this. I will edit and critique anyone who asks it of me. Depending on the length depends on how fast I can get it back to you. I will give a thorough read, with edits, comments and suggestions. The only pieces I refuse to take are unedited ones. If I catch more than a couple typos on one page (even then) I will stop editing then and there and make you read it over and send me a new copy before I touch it again, I can't be bothered to edit stupid little details when an author's read will accomplish the same.

That aside...WINTER BREAK YEAH. Still not any less stressful with all the stuff I need to get done, but I'm done school. And that is good. I will hopefully get tons of reading and writing done. I need to record the next few levels of Dungeon Keeper and post them on YouTube. I have also been assigned "What the Crow Said" by Robert Kroetsch...but I have yet to find it in any local bookstore. I will probably need to get it through the mail.

AS for WMRR...it has been on hold since I last wrote in...Novemberish? I have so many ideas for the next few parts, but I haven't been able to justify sitting and writing for a few hours when I needed to study and write papers....and yet I found time to play Fire Emblem, Assassin's Creed and Call of Duty...

Nevertheless, I will make efforts to get even the BARE MINIMUM out on paper. This book should have been done in six months. It's taken me nearly six years. Maybe six years. I don't know anymore.

Musicz

Some...inspirational pieces.

Carry on my Wayward Son - Kansas
Where Mighty Rivers Run - Immediate Music
Ravenous - X-Ray Dog
Wasting Time - Red
Preliator - Globus
Pale - Within Temptation
Dwarf Village - Overlord
Rocky Mountains - Jesper Kyd
Main Title Bloodmoney - Jesper Kyd
Brain Stew Godzilla Remix - Greenday

Because they are awesome.

AC - Lonely Souls - Unkle
Diabolic Clockwork - Two Steps From Hell
Power of Darkness - Two Steps From Hell
Assortment of X-ray Dog
Out! - Lunatica
Take Me Away - Globus
Final Battle - OVerlord
Canon Rock - Funtwo
Dungeon Keeper 2 Battle Music
Junkie XL Colossus REmix
I'LL MAKE A MAN OUT OF YOU

Oh Look

It's another one of these contests.

The Wag's Revue Winter 2010 Writers Contest is now open!

A first prize of $1000 and publication in Issue 9, a second prize of $500 and a third of $100 will be awarded to the three best entries. All submissions will be considered for publication.

All three genres (fiction, poetry, essay) will be considered for each prize. The contest will be judged by the magazine's editors. The three winning pieces from the last contest may be read here, here and here.

New to Wag's Revue? All issues of the magazine are available for free in the Archive. In its two years, the magazine has featured new works by Michael Ives, Brian Evenson, Ian Monk, and Stephen Elliott and interviews with such waggish luminaries as Gary Lutz, Stephen Colbert, T.C. Boyle, and Dave Eggers.

The contest closes January 15th. Winners will be announced with the publication of Issue 9 in April, 2011. Additional guidelines as well as access to the Submissions Manager may be found at the Submit page.

We hope you'll share this announcement with others who may be interested and we appreciate your support of quality writing online.

Many Thanks,

The Editors,
www.wagsrevue.com


-+-

I might submit, but I think I'll skip this one. I post because I care. Not that I have a substantial amount of viewers or anything.

Also, can the people who are sending me endless amounts of personal messages on YouTube about getting my videos featured and getting popular websites please piss off? I don't want to be famous kthx.

Chapter 7 ***Complete***

I've unlocked the satisfaction of finally completing mission 1! I'm also being rewarded with my first shift at my new job at 7-11am tomorrow morning! Yay?

This mission originally supposed to be one lengthy chapter ended up being THREE lengthy chapters. I needed a lot more room to say what I needed to say. The completion of the new Chapter 7 is the official mark indicating that a good third of the novel is finished. I can't tell you how good this feels, even though I know a lot of the writing is complete crap. I have the ideas, basic actions and dialogue down and that's what counts. I had so much fun writing about the Ash's battle with the giant minotaur and the Laelaps. Not only that this chapter completely changed events I thought would turn out differently later on in the novel (one of the reasons I don't write out of order...I'd just have to change it). Chapter 8 and 9 need some work now, but I've left a lot of room at the beginning of chapter 8 for this.

As a special treat because I'm in such a good mood, I will post the first portion of the battle with the robot minotaur here. Enjoy!

*PS - This is not edited yet, so there may be a few typos and odd choices of words. Action scenes can get a little crazy/muddled. At least they can for me.

Also, I uploaded this song on YouTube earlier today to show you what music I had in mind when writing this: Metal Mayhem

This piece is mostly for the first part of the battle (what I've pasted below). The piece could technically carry on to the second part, but I had this song in mind instead (the particular music is at 7:46): Baptism of Fire

<-->


“Not bad, but let's see how lucky you are against a military class robot after I take him out of defence mode.”

“He was only in defence mode?”

The general smiled. “C-Delta, offensive mode, target five feet at 135 degrees.”

The semi-circle of guards widened as the robot whirred to life behind Ash. He looked over his shoulder to see the robot rotate the upper half of his body to look at him with its yellow eyes. Before he could think of a suitable move the robot swung one of its arms, catching him in the stomach and throwing him back towards the general. He managed to hang onto his broadsword with one hand as he hit the ground and slid, the wind knocked out of him.

He watched the robot approach, analyzing it's parts and weapons as he gasped for air. It was fast for a machine. He rolled to the side as the minotaur tried to crush him with its enormous feet. The robot followed him with on of its arms and locked on to where he stopped to jump to his feet. A the loud clicking indicated it was trying to use the broken machine gun on its arm. The base of the machine gun popped out and a tiny piece began spinning uselessly on the end. Ash hardly started laughing before the robot took another swing at him, hitting him in the side. This time Ash hit the wall and lost his hold on his broadsword.

He heard laughs and jeers from the spectators as he cleared his head and searched frantically for his sword. The blade had bounced off the wall and skidded beneath the robot's feet, who was closing fast on his position. Again he rolled, aiming for the space between its legs. The robot threw a punch into the ground behind him, missing him by inches. He grasped the sword, swinging it to his right as he came out of the roll and stood. The sword deflected off the side of its leg armour, leaving little more than a scratch behind.

Ash jumped back before the robot could attempt to break his ribs with another swing. He looked for a weak spot, somewhere he could connect a successful swing of his sword. A lack of armour on the neck and joints exposed machinery in favour of mobility. The targets were small and the bot was in constant motion, so hitting the marks would be difficult. He needed to be faster than the machine. Ash glanced down at the coffee machine which had been knocked on its side. As the minotaur began to charge at him again he saw it lay in its path.

Ash raised another small shield around it as the robot stepped directly above it. He felt a sharp jolt surge through his head and spine as the weight of the minotaur nearly crushed the shield. The unexpected presence of the shield tripped the robot and it fell forward. Ash dashed to the left to avoid being hit by the falling heap of metal and struck the robot under its shoulder, nearly severing the arm from the robot. A one of the minotaur's cables leading into its arm broke, spilling think, black liquid all over the floor.

“Try and hit me now asshole,” Ash spat as he kicked the side of the minotaur.

Ash turned and went for the coffee machine on the floor at the minotaur's feet. As he bent to pick it up the robot spun around and kicked him in the small of the back, sending Ash flying face-first across the room into a group of soldiers watching. One of the soldiers broke his fall as the rest dove out of the way. Ash pushed away from the soldier and flipped onto his back. He groaned in pain as he rose.

“Kay, I deserved that...I think.”

<-->

FISH IN THE FACE!

Another Year Older...

But I doubt I'm any wiser.

I'm now legal in the States as of...4 days ago. Not that it matters really. I'm not much of a drinker. My friends and family are amazing though. They all fooled me and threw me a surprise party. I watched the video of me walking in and I look like a deer caught in the headlights. It's great.

Had a fairly unproductive weekend. I thought a lot about where I want to go from here in terms of writing. Wrote a little bit of chapter 7 and edited and posted a new video. I'm glad to see at least 17ish of 35 subscribers are watching and enjoying it. Makes me happy. I often wonder if they'd watch if they knew I was of the female gender. I'm sure about 95% of the people that watch think I'm a guy. Not sure why, but it's kind of funny. Am I really that masculine?

At any rate, word count is sitting around 37,500. Hopefully I'll get to 40,000 this week. Simple goal it is. Apparently turning into Yoda I am. Going to play Oblivion I am.

Save me from the addiction.

Motivation...

I need to finish this stupid novel. I've made it to the halfway mark once and then I scrapped it. Five years I have put it off and let the story fester in the back of my mind, so I decided the time has come to clean it up, write the rest of the story and finally give it a go. I am making this log to record my "progress". I'm going to post here once every week, updating what I've done and so help me it better be at least a chapter. I'm not sure if threatening yourself actually works...but I figure I'd try. Hopefully it will give me the motivation I need. I'll also post portions of my Deviant Art journals here, since I tend to update that weekly (ish).

I have begun to rewrite my first four chapters of WMRR that were also a rewrite. My original work was 17 chapters in length, my estimated "halfway mark". That first edition was horrible. Second edition, which I am rewriting now and used to get me into a fiction writing class was a lot better, but definitely needed a little buffer and polish. The Prologue and half of Chapter 1 are currently done. I am also switching Chapter 1 and 2 around. I am hoping that by the end of this week I will finish up until Chapter 2.

I will have a busy last four days of holidays. Thankfully I'm not needed at work being "on call" and can focus my time on writing my novel, writing an English paper (a nice little holiday treat from my prof), editing the first 70 pages of my friend's novel, finding 5 research materials for a group project, collecting and organizing my group member's research materials, reading two books of short stories, reading the first 10 chapters of Don Quixote, gutting my room, buying my books for next term, a day trip to Banff and finishing Assassin's Creed II (which is an amazing game by the way). So much for the rest of my "holidays". Unfortunately I will have no time to start a new video game nor record any new videos for my "Walkthrough of Extreme Boredom series: Overlord Edition" (obviously because I'm FAR from being bored).

My Deviant Art Account: http://drschwa.deviantart.com/
My YouTube Account: http://www.youtube.com/user/OnyxArdesco