That Feel When...

At the point where I just sit back and wonder how this project grew to include such things as giant robot minotaurs, mystical sciency bullshit, god-like AIs, using buses as battering rams and five-year-old mountain gurus and whether or not they are silly in a good way, or just plain silly. Ah well, as long as I amuse myself...mission accomplished.

I'm over 500 pages of writing now. I ended up finishing a few difficult points, which makes me happy. Not chapter 12 though. I decided that this chapter can rot in the backlog until I'm done everything else, even though I keep telling myself that it's really not all that hard to write. I keep jumping between chapters, so theoretically at least 5 of them will be done around the same time. Also, all chapters have WRITING in them...but are in various stages of completion (incomplete chapters ranging from 10%-98% done).

270832 words and counting.

I Made a Spreadsheet

I calculated approximately how close I am to REALLY being done the rough draft. It's sitting around 71%. That said...that is the average of the arbitrary percentages I have assigned to each chapter in terms of completion, but it seems accurate. I have a lot of patch work done. There are 6 chapters out of 45 that I have not started (unless you count 1 or 2 lines plus notes), three stupid long chapters that I need to revisit, three completely terrible chapters I need to rewrite, Jason's chapter which is about 90% done and makes me want to stab myself with a fork, and the realization that 45 chapters will most likely become 46 because...some things are not explained. As much as I would like Jason to just show up somewhere for no reason, I can't really do that. Laziness is not on my side here. 

Damn it Jason you ruin everything. 

So 71%.

The document itself is a poor representation of the final page numbers and word count, but it's currently sitting at 423 pages and 228,000 words. How am I not done this yet?

BEFORE 2015. It needs to happen.

I am super antsy about sharing any of this. I enjoy writing it, and I make myself laugh, but the reason it's taken so long is just it doesn't quite meet my level of expectations. And if it doesn't even meet mine, how can I expect it to be good enough for other people to lay eyes on. I've debated sharing snippets of it for a long time. Maybe... 

shdfaiasdnasoidnanosdas 

That almost looks like a word

All right

k 

fine

HERE.

He stepped lightly on the catwalk, especially in one section where the supports holding it to the wall and roof seemed a little loose. He could see a figure lying prone on a section of the catwalk near the middle. He noticed a ladder down to the second floor on the far side. Ash had not moved and barely acknowledged Dedrad when he arrived. Dedrad sat next to him, back resting against the rail behind him as Ash grabbed a couple bands from the little pile next to him.

“Why are you tormenting the research team?” Dedrad asked after a moment.

“Bored.”

“Training and facility duties not enough to keep you occupied?”

“Woke up late. No one told me to do anything, so I'm conducting an experiment.”

“An experiment?”

“Yes, I am determining the average number of elastic band shots required to piss off members of the research team. Joey is the control.”

Ash fired an elastic and it found its mark in the back of Joey's neck. Joey placed a hand on his neck where it hit and looked around behind him for the culprit. Ash chuckled and loaded another.

“I see you're a real man of science.”

“Poten wants me to apply what I'm learning. Just consider this applied physics.”

Ash adjusted his aim and angle, and fired an elastic into the back of a woman working at a computer. It hit her coat and dropped to the floor unnoticed. Ash made a disappointed noise.

“As much as I don't want to encourage you, experiments need to be repeated for accurate results.”

“Tried it with a gang once.”

“Really?”

“It was hilarious until someone got stabbed.”

“That person wouldn't have been you would it?”

Ash chuckled.

“I honestly can't tell if you are being serious or not.”

Ash fired another couple of bands. The two of them had to duck when the second projectile hit a man in the face and he gazed wildly about to determine where it had come from.

Lists and Categories

I used to get so stressed out whenever I loaned people my pencil crayons back in elementary and Jr. High school. I had every pencil lined up in a perfect spectrum of colour, taking one to three out of the case at a time whenever I needed them so I could easily place them back where they belonged. This was not the case when other students borrowed them. They'd use multiple pencils at a time and when I received them back I had to take several minutes to place them all back in the same spots before I could relax. 

This is a problem for me. I am still very much like this where I develop patterns and lists and categories for items or information and I feel the need to organize it in a specific way over and over again. This is a huge problem I encounter in writing as I fall into these habits and means of organizing thoughts, which can make my writing stale and repetitive. I'm discovering very quickly that I need to make myself uncomfortable with my own writing and smash those walls of the boxes I create in my head (god damned catwalks man...they turn up like five times in the narrative).

I have broken out of a linear strategy of writing. I am writing segments all over the place now and it's stressing me out some because while I can write the pieces in my mind wherever I want at any time, I am terrified that there will be too many inconsistencies or aspects I forgot about. I suppose this is what editing is for? 

Production is accelerating. I am 100% sure I will be finished my first draft this year. Maybe even by the end of summer. I am excited, but I have so much to do.

Very close to 170,000 words. I stressed myself out yesterday writing one part. I may be getting a bit too invested in what's going on. 

Face ---> Desk

Over and over again. I often wonder what people would think if they looked up all my search terms including, but not limited to:

Knives, blades, swords
Staff fighting
Surviving falls from various heights
Blood loss
Puncture wounds with and without objects embedded in the wound
Rail guns
EMPs
Nanotechnology
Corrosive materials
Symptoms of shock
How to avoid going into shock
Various medical conditions

Crossed my mind when I found a post on blood loss in Tumblr. Was really quite useful, though I may need to verify the stats. Yeah...Tumblr makes me want to repeatedly smash my face into the desk, while making me laugh every two smashes. It is both a hilarious and terrible place, where I either learn something new, giggle a little or hate my existence.

Which is why I post most updates here. 160,000 words by the way.

Looking Back

Found the writer's guide I wrote about three years ago while I was still in university. It still has some good points, but it's one of those instances where you look back and say "was I really that much of a pretentious little shit?" Okay, it's not THAT bad, but I'm not sure if I'd agree with some of the points I made back then. I should go through it in much more detail, just out of curiosity.

I haven't lost the tendency to make massive documents containing guidelines and tips, however. I spend a good hour and a half this morning editing and adding to a document I've been using off and on to help with writing and editing projects at my work...among other content. That's how I even remembered the old guide in the first place. I wonder if anyone actually reads or uses it...

WMRR is a giant mess of good and bad writing. The guide has brought up some good points to look at when I'm editing this (hopefully) at the end of the year. I am determined to get this done. No jokes this time. For real. I'm sitting at over 150,000 words at the moment, and I shudder to think at the kind of work I'll need to do to try and reduce that as I'll probably try to get it published one day. That's what I hope for, but whether it happens or not is another story. At the very least, a couple people have expressed their desire to read it.

http://theliteraryproject.blogspot.ca/
http://womagwriter.blogspot.ca/
http://aescifi.ca/index.php/non-fiction/39-contests/2183-announcing-ae-micro-5

First is the blog of a person I know who also writes and has some interesting insights into Librarian work.
Second was recommended to me as a good guide to help with getting work into the market.
Last is a contest I intend on entering. I'm trying to encourage others to enter, mostly because I know I have no chance of winning and would love to see someone I know published instead.

It's ALIVE

To quote the last line I wrote of this chapter, "What have I done?" I think I have created a monster. I have no idea how it happened, but there is no way this chapter should be nearly 20,000 words long. It just...happened. It's also one of the better chapters I've written, but it's too long, especially when the average is sitting around 8,000 words per chapter. This was an interlude. Ugh. Good news is that with the completion of this chapter, this means I only have one interlude left and the end of the story. I am closer than I have ever been to completing this abomination of text that I have worked 7 years on. Granted, I still have a lot of unfinished sections that need to be re-written, but I can finally taste the end. I will finish this, and I will celebrate. For now, work continues.

Current word count: 140,000 (rounding down to account for outline words)
Page count: 231

Budding

The monster chapter became two chapters. The only problem is that I need to change my plans for chapter 18 and what I'm writing about there. I think I might have to switch the OH I JUST THOUGHT OF WHAT I COULD DO. I might just be a genius at 1:30 in the morning. Of course this means I need to finish chapter 12 finally, but that's OK. Well maybe not. I haven't been so stuck on anything I've written in my life. Ugh. Regardless, I have an entire interlude to complete before that has to see the light of day. Perhaps I should begin meditating on this section a little more and it'll come to me. Anyway, I just thought I'd say I'm about a paragraph and a few lines of dialogue from finally finishing chapter 16, which is now also chapter 17. I will be moving on after tonight.

Also, current word count: 115,488 and page count: 206

We're well into the latter half now folks. For the first time ever I can see a conclusion to this work in the near future. 

No Wonder I'm Tired

Up very late, but I have finally finished chapter 15. It was much longer than expected, but I am pleased with it. I think Steve the AI worked out quite well, though I'm hoping to make it...more engaging and interesting after another look at it. The end of the chapter was a little rushed as well. I never know how to end chapters, so I just leave off at an appropriate spot and hope I'll figure it out later. Anyhow, this chapter rand in at 8500 words from Grypt's perspective, which is good because he hasn't had much "screen time" (writing time?) yet.

In total I now have 100,850 words. Throw a party.

Super Hairdryers

This:
http://what-if.xkcd.com/35/

Also, quick update. I'm one chapter away from 100,000 words. Granted one of the portions written on that document may not be used, I'm still counting it. I will let you all know when I reach the number.

Catwalks and FRANCE

I seem to have a strange liking for catwalks. They're everywhere...taking over my soul.

Oh and I'm done Chapter 14, catwalks and all. Again, I'll need to fix the ending, but I like the strange way it has turned out. The plot is similar in events to version 1, but the rest comes down to location, location, location. I think I managed to write 15 pages on this one, which was WAY longer than I anticipated. I may have some clean-up to do later, but I'm on a roll for now. Also, I still need to fix Chapter 12.

Word Count: 92,631
Page Count: 162

Also, I just realized that the next page in my document starts with MEANWHILE, IN FRANCE. I'd be tempted to keep it for the sake of randomness, but I have no idea how it would fit into the chapter.

Crossroads

This time last summer I began what would be the toughest year of my life. Looking back one year, I feel like it has been a lot longer. I've been very lucky to have a loving family that I have been close to, and quite frankly sheltered by, for many years. I'm at a crossroads in my life, like many other people my age, where I'm just trying to figure myself out and come to terms with all that's happened. I feel like I need to move on from a lot of this before I can seriously start writing again. It may even encourage me to write more or write better. Point is, I have no idea what to do with my life. I understand myself better in many respects, but mostly I just confuse myself. I know what I like, what I want, and yet I've completely lost sight of the few goals that I had. I need to reassert those goals, or WMRR is never going to be completed.

I don't take criticism very well. I take everything way too personally, which may be a product from my time on YouTube. I use it because it's one constant source that I can share my interests and communicate with people in ways I can't otherwise. I love to make videos, but the stress to constantly produce and deal with the people who insult and demean rather than give constructive pointers really gets to me. Makes me angry mostly, because these people have nothing of importance to say. It's a useless waste of letters, data and time. Lately I'm just crushed by the constant drivel I have to deal with and am seriously contemplating taking a break from video production. True, I get more positive feedback than negative, but I have other aspects like writing, friendships, job hunting, work and personal growth that I could be pouring this time and energy into instead of videos. I will finishing Dungeon Siege 2, because I hate unfinished business, but I can't say if I'll be immediately moving on to Broken World. 

I want to be in a place where WMRR jumps to the top 5 priorities in my life. Since my last post I've only written about 300 words. I just can't find a pocket of time I can have to myself before 11pm at night, and by that time I'm too tired to do any work. This makes me extremely frustrated, because the same is true for recording. I need seclusion, time and silence for both activities, which I just don't have anymore. And this means absolutely NO interruptions. I want to finish WMRR. I want to finish it so bad so I can go back, edit and fix everything. There are so many glaring mistakes that just eats away at me, but I can't let myself go back and fix yet because I'll end up rewriting the entire work again. 

My goal then is to have WMRR done in rough draft by the end of this year. I have made goals like this before, but I need to seriously work at it like I did a few years ago when I wanted to enter that contest. I want this story finished, even if it never sees publication, I want to know that I can complete a work as large as WMRR. So as a fair warning, I may be making a lot of changes to my goals and priorities in the next while. You have been warned.

I'm resisting the urge to put a smiley face on the end of that last sentence.

MEAT

The title of the future or the big red letters on your grocery list when your brother finds out there are no more slices of ham in the refrigerator.

I am finally, FINALLY, entering the halfway point people. I can't tell you how excited I am, because I have been looking forward to writing this section for a very long time now. Not only that, I have a general outline of it because I've written it before. It's horribly written, but it's still there. I know exactly where I want to go with this, how many chapters it will take and the points of view I want to go from. Makes me all giddy inside. Chapter 12 and 13 may be messy, but they're out there in raw form now. Horray!

Also, I'm at 82,000 words.

2 + 2 = Fish

2010: 358 days +
2011: 59 days
=417 days

Words: 67977 -
Prologue, Chapt. 1, Chapt. 2: 9933
= 58044 words

58044 / 417
=139.19 words per day

Estimated final word count: 110000

110000 - 67977
=42023 words left

42023 / 139.19
=301.91 days until completion

D3PR3551NG



78 days until September.

42023 / 78
=538.76 words per day

200 days until the new year.

42023 / 200
=210.11 words per day

Therefore, if I write a proposal length essay every day this summer, I will be finished the first draft. If I write the equivalent of my average blog post, I will be done before the new year. That's not so hard right? Right?




Now I know why writers usually don't like math.

Chapter 10

The chapter is done. Finished it up with some dialogue. I don't like the ending line, but it'll do for now. I need to double check that my logic...makes sense. Logic and I do not get along.

Current word count: 64,479

Would have posted this two days ago, but blogger felt it was a good time for maintenance. Working on chapter 11 now. Would have had more done last night, but I was focused on editing and making sure my video didn't explode. Took six hours to upload. That is ridiculous. I have been told that I need to make videos in a different way. Hopefully, this will reduce the size and upload time.

I need to learn how to write without so much dialogue.

Six Years

And I finally have a word count to match what I had in version 1 of WMRR. I am closing in on the halfway mark. Ten thousand words and I'm there. That's incredibly exciting.